


Keeping Up with the Sakes

by MasochisticHero



Category: Purple Hyacinth - Ephemerys & Sophism (Webcomic)
Genre: BellaSake, Bob Sake, Child, Childbirth, Children, Comedy, F/M, Family, Lets Pretend BellaSake Can Be a Happy Family, Mrs. Belladonna Sake, Newborn, Wrong Name on Birth Certificate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:49:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26298934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasochisticHero/pseuds/MasochisticHero
Summary: And thus, Bob Sake was born.
Relationships: Belladonna Davenport/Tim Sake
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24
Collections: Purple Hyacinth Children AU





	Keeping Up with the Sakes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Queen_BriarRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_BriarRose/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obviously a lazy drabble

Belladonna cried out in pain after finally pushing _him_ out. Gods, it was tedious; this had been far worse than any torture, any assassination, or any mission she had to endure.

A loud bawling rang in the cold white room. It was nothing like the screams of those begging for mercy before their final moments; it was the first cry of life of a child during their first moments in this good earth.

“What name do you want to give him?” she heard the nurse asking, but she was already fading to black. It was a gruelling twenty four hour labour for her, and even with her endurance and stamina, she simply could not stay awake any longer.

She closed her eyes to rest, but not before glaring at her husband whose hand she was _crushing_.

Tim better not fuck up while giving the name to _her_ little angel. She specifically instructed him to give _her_ baby boy the name Damien.

_Damien Sake._

What an elegant and beautiful name. A big improvement from a simple name like Tim.

She dreamt of a mundane life for her family. No assassinations, no torture, nothing going wrong. Pure bliss and perfection. In a world where the Phantom Scythe was lost, there wasn’t bound to be any fuck ups that would hinder their peaceful lives.

* * *

Belladonna winced as she sat up, looking for her first born. He must have been brought to the hospital nursery.

“Where is Damien?” was the first thing she said when she finally came to be.

Tim was sleeping on her bedside, alcohol on hand, tobacco on the other. Wow, what sort of husband was he, drinking and smoking while his wife was in labour. Gently, she tapped his head, which failed to do anything. Her husband had always been a heavy sleeper. She gritted her teeth.

Belladonna pinched the tip of his ears with her sharp nails. He yelped. Belladonna rolled her eyes. Of course, how can she ever have an uneventful life? She married Tim fucking Sake, this bumbling idiot.

“Where is Damien?” she repeated, her eyes leering at her not too sober husband.

His eyes weren’t focused as he chugged the bottle of rum. “Who the fuck is Damien?” he drawled, before leaning his head to Belladonna’s hand.

_Oh no, he fucking didn’t._

“Timmy, where is our child?” Belladonna asked icily, her sweet voice laced with poisonous venom.

“What child?” Tim groaned, kissing the back of her hand. “We don’t have a kid called Damien.”

Holy fuck, can anyone remind her why in fuck’s sake did she marry this son of a bitch? She felt her blood pressure rise. Did he misplace _her_ child?

“Our first born,” she continued, smiling wide enough to pop a vein on her forehead.

“You mean Bob?”

For a single moment, she felt her vigour come back as adrenaline coursed through her. It was a simple task. A mother fucking simple task. Name the child Damien. Was that so hard? Well if he can fuck up the Chow Murder with his sloppy tactics, why did she even expect anything from this man?

_It was just a fucking name, for the love of the gods._

Belladonna hissed, manoeuvring to pin her husband to the cold tile flooring of the hospital room, and grabbed the knife hidden at the side of her bed to push it towards Tim's neck.

Tim chuckled heartily, tracing a finger at his wife’s face. “You look so hot when you’re angry, doll. Don't tell me you want me to use that knife to screw your ass here and now?”

She used to be one of the most feared assassins of Ardhalis. Now, she just wanted to scream in utter frustration.

"Seriously, Tim? _Fucking_ Bob Sake? Two syllables! What sort of idiot name is that? I gave you one task, one simple task!"

"Oi, don't curse our child, he's quite beautiful. Granted he looks more like me since he was born bald-"

Oh for the love of gods. If she didn't love this piece of junk, she would have long shredded his face.

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad, Missus Belladonna Sake-”

Again, she pushed her knife deeper against his neck, slowly nipping the top part of his skin. More, and more, before a drop of blood started to form at the tip of her blade. “Don’t make me regret taking your surname, sweetheart,” she smiled sweetly.

Tim just grinned as he snaked his hand under her thigh. “I mean, we can always make another one-”

“You had one job, Timmy my dearest. _One job._ ”

“Ah, well. I mean you still love me and Bob either way.”

She face palmed and groaned.

“That doesn’t mean I won’t kill you one day.”

“This is exactly why I married you.”

* * *

Bob was brought to the ward. Needless to say, Belladonna still held him with such love and care, as if forgetting her husband’s fuck up. It looked like they were going to be a happy family, but then Tim declared something.

“All of our future children will just have three letter names.”

“What?” Belladonna said, cocking her head to the side as she flashed a smile at her husband. Because she held Bob in her arms, she couldn’t just stand up and claw Tim’s face.

“You heard me, doll. Three letters,” he gestured. “Any more and they’d have weird sounding names."

Her mouth hung open. What in the gods’ blazes was he talking about?

Tim continued.

"Imagine if we named him Damien or Harvey. Ugh, who knows what would happen to his corpse after he dies?”

Belladonna started threatening Tim and he laughed as he enjoyed riling her up even more.

They could have been a happy family.

But Belladonna married Tim fucking Sake. They can pretend that they enjoy a peaceful life, but deep down, they both relished it, this chaotic balance that they have established.

**Welcome to the Sake Family, Bob.**


End file.
